The National Football League is in shambles.
People are throwing left hooks at their spouses on elevators, throwing them on beds of guns, headbutting them for refusing sex, beating their children with switches and hanging out with strange women named Molly at the Kentucky Derby.
Over the season the Buffalo Bills had some trouble with the law, particularly Marcel Dareus, but thanks to the rest of these hooligans in the league everyone seemed to forget about that and Roger Goodell has bigger fish to fry. I remember being particularly worried that we got one of the leagues “punks” in Brandon Spikes because he was a Patriot and kind of a meanie head and he poked that dude in the eyes in college. Then he followed me on twitter and started being really cool, so clearly I love him forever and respect him.
So while the rest of the NFL is smacking Molly around in an elevator, or whatever, we have a “bad boy” on our team by the name of Brandon Spikes, who does this:
Meet @BrandonSpikes51 at the @buffalozoo this Saturday w/ his new friend Spikes the porcupine!
— Buffalo Bills (@buffalobills) September 18, 2014
So to the rest of the NFL, keep breaking your rules. I am going to stare at this hilarious picture of Brandon Spikes feeding a porcupine with a baby bottle while wearing his game jersey.