Join to Buffalo online sports community. Publish your articles and game reviews, discuss players and sports teams!

Buffalo Bruises

Buffalo Bills / Buffalo Sports News

Duke Williams’ DMs to Mia Khalifa Were Justified Because Women are Mean

Duke Williams DMs to Mia Khalifa Were Justified Because Women are Mean

Buffalo sports got a ton of national attention this week.  Being lost in the story of our offensive line coach punching some kid is my favorite story of the week;  Duke Williams’ leaked DMs to Mia Khalifa.

Mia Khalifa, a popular porn star, put the Buffalo Bills Safety on blast by sharing some of the DMs that Duke Williams had sent to her from February 4th to July of this year.

Okay so this is what it is.  Duke Williams is trying to court young Mia Khalifa via DM.  Now I just want to be perfectly clear with all of you; Duke Williams is a god damn legend and should be treated as such.

Women are scary.  A girl smiled at me at the gym the other day and I got scared and went home, and she wasn’t a girl that I could log onto twitter and see naked pictures of.  It would have been awesome if she was, but she wasn’t.  So what we have here is a young man of 24 being absolutely persistent and not giving up, something we all want out of our young Buffalo Bills.

So I am not only going to call out Mia Khalifa, but I am going to call out every girl in the world everywhere, because this has got to stop:

  1. Mia Khalifa follows Duke Williams on twitter.
    • This fact gets lost in the story, she has to follow him to get a DM from him.  She follows 594 people, one of them is Duke Williams.
    • If a girl follows me on Twitter, I automatically assume they’re interested in a physical relationship.
      • Is this an insane thought?  Undeniably!  I look like a young, unsuccessful Joe Pesci, so clearly my confidence isn’t as high as Duke Williams, so good for Duke.
  2. Duke Williams started out very nice, “How you been?”
    • Classic woman; she ignores him.  You want to know what I do when I get ignored?  Assume her phone is broken or she was working on the perfect thing to write back.
      • This is a reasonable response for a guy like me.  Duke Williams though?  I wouldn’t accept it.  He waits patiently for over a month, then told her to go to Vegas.  I can’t afford to eat lunch sometimes, so I could never invite a girl to Vegas, but that’s a baller move.
  3. The eye emoji is a killer DM to send to any fly honey
    • I have also found the angry face or the monkey covering it’s mouth emoji to be very effective.
      • By very effective, it’s never, ever worked.
  4. Duke Williams makes a simple request, “Come to Miami”
    • Again, my go-to would be like “Come to Chili’s by my house and pay because I don’t get paid until next Friday”, but Duke is a baller
  5. Here’s where the classic woman comes out of Mia Khalifa
    • Why do you have to be rude?  You’ve ignored him for 5 months and you choose to be rude?  What a mean thing to do.  Just be like “I have a boyfriend and I would enjoy putting his penis on a steak”, then move on with your day.
      • If you were answering him and then told him about your boyfriends A1 sauce penis, then I get it, he was being creepy.  But no, he just wanted you to answer.  Maybe he was going to tell you a secret and you lost out on finding it out.

Duke Williams is a legend.  This confidence he has will help him out on the field and we can expect a big year out of him.  If I have learned anything from Duke it’s that you never give up with the ladies.

If the lady decides to call you out publicly, she should probably just unfollow on twitter, the DMs will stop, move on with your day and let Duke figure it out… Or USE YOUR WORDS.

To Duke Williams,

Thank you for the lesson in courageousness and persistence.

To Mia Khalifa/All Women,

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>